


Just A Boy and His Tumors

by ks3v9



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Misogyny, M/M, Misogyny, Sad Ending, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 07:30:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15967634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ks3v9/pseuds/ks3v9
Summary: This is a story about a boy named Noah and how his entire world changes and nothing is the same for him ever again.This is a story about a boy named Xavier and how his entire world changes and nothing is the same for him ever again.This is a story a boy named Noah who isn't quite sure of who he is and is too scared to find out, lest he lose everything.This is a story about a boy named Xavier who loses everything and finds himself in the process.This is a story about a boy who needs a tutorThis is a story about a boy who needs to tutorThis is a story about high school and coming of age in homophobic lifestylesThis is a story about a boy and his tumors.





	1. Chapter 1

This is my story that I have been working on for a couple of years. This story is my pet project, my baby if you will. I really want to publish this at some point in the future but if I can't bring myself to post it online then I will never have the courage to bring it to a publisher.   
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I know that you can't see me and I'm just another account but this story means a lot to me and please keep that in mind when making criticisms. I'm fine with constructive criticisms that can help make me better just understand that if it isn't constructive and it's just downright mean that I will disable comments. Also, I'm still a student and unlike some of my other works with shorter chapters that I write on my computer and I can finish in an hour max this story takes a lot more time. I'm am very particular about how I write full-length stories. I like to hand-write everything then revise as I'm putting it into my computer and revise a couple more times. So, it takes more time to finish a chapter and from time to time I will go back and change things if the way the story is going is no longer working for me or if I had to add more information. Usually, if I do that I will put the information in the notes of the most recently updated chapter so that people know to go back and look for that information and reread. 

That being said, I really hope you enjoy "Just A Boy And His Tumors"


	2. Chapter 1 - Xavier's POV

“ I’m just saying you need to tell your parents!” I roll my eyes at my best friend Em.  


“Oh please! Tell my parents! The ones who believe natural disasters are a result of God’s hatred for homosexuals. The ones who protested against the legalization of gay marriage. The ones who sneer every time they see anything rainbow. Those parents? Yeah, I’m sure my parents would be thrilled to learn the truth about me and would be very accepting of their only son turning to the side of those God hates!” Em looks a little sheepish and then shocked. I wonder why until I hear a rich, deep voice behind me. Noah  


“What’s this about God’s hatred?” I flush and slowly turn around.  


“Oh, n-nothing. Just the dark side according to my parents.” I force myself to laugh and it comes out really awkward, but at least it came out. That’s more than I can say for myself.  


“What dark side?” I fall silent. Luckily, Em saves my ass.  


“Anything and everything rainbow. It can be pretty scary how against gays they are.” Noah smiles a little awkwardly but I think I see a fleeting look of disappointment on his face.  


“Ah, strict Christians are the worst. Especially the older generations because they infect the younger generations with their ideals.” My eyes widen and I move to protest, nothing feeling more important at that moment than letting Noah know I don’t follow the beliefs of my parents. However, he keeps talking. “Anyway, I came to make sure that we were still on for tonight. 4 at the library?”  


“Uh… yeah. Get ready for some tutoring.” I punch him on the shoulder playfully. Noah laughs and turns away, the minute he does I turn around and start shaking out my hand. Em chuckles before patting me on the back and leading me away.  


She leads me into our next class and together we take seats in the middle of the room. I get my stuff out and turn when Noah walks in. My eyes widen and I lean over to Em. “What is he doing here? I thought he was in a different class!” However, Noah apparently has super hearing, that or I was louder than I thought because he overhears me for the second time in thirty minutes.  


“They moved me into this class because my former one was too easy. Is that a problem?” He looks at me with those piercing eyes that shine like the ocean. I feel my heat up as I struggle to find words.  


“N-no of course not! I guess you don’t need help in this class. Heh.” He looks at me for a second and says,  


“Yeah, that’s why they moved me up. It was too easy, I didn’t need any help.” Then he turns and walks to his desk in the front of the room. The minute he turns his back I thunk my head down on my desk before looking over at Em who is giving me a slow clap complete with a pitying look.  


“Way to crash and burn buddy. I don’t think I’ve seen anybody do so badly in a conversation as you just did. In fact, I think the level of awkwardness you just displayed belongs in the Guinness World Records Book.” I give her a death stare and the bird as the bell rings and class starts. Time for torture.  


First, the teacher Mrs. Muller calls attendance. This is the dreaded part for any kid that doesn’t have a name that’s a variant of John Doe. Their full name is announced for the whole class to hear and a few of the dumb idiots will always laugh. Which can lead to them get yelled at by the teacher and this poor kid’s name being used over and over as the teacher scolds the other morons in class about laughing at this kid and they just laugh more each time she uses it. Everybody has to go through it. Everybody, that is, except Em. Only her nickname and last name, Andrews, are announced. People have tried asking her about it but to this day I’m the only one not in her family to know the truth.  


Em is a twin, and her twin brother also goes by Em. Most people call them some variation or play on Em 1 and Em 2 because both refuse to reveal their actual first name. I really don’t blame either of them. The truth is there was a mistake when they were born. Their dad was in charge of filling out the birth certificates. It wasn’t until later that they realized something went wrong when the hospital handed Mrs. Andrews her new baby girl in a pink blanket calling her a boy’s name, and her new baby boy in a blue blanket calling him a girl’s name. Mrs. Andrews was pissed, their dad had been freaking out so much when filling out the birth certificates that he accidentally named the baby girl, my best friend, Emmett and named the baby boy, my other best friend, Emerson or Emma for short. Mr. Andrews always meant to go and get it fixed but never did. They laugh about it now but it makes sense that the Ems don’t want to reveal their true names in the snakepit that is our high school. I look over at Em and grin. She narrows her eyes suspiciously and whispers across the aisle to me.  
“What?”  


“Nothing I was just thinking.” She frowns.  


“Well don’t smirk like that, last time you made that face we only narrowly escaped mall jail.” I had completely forgotten about that and I have to stuff my fist into my mouth to keep from bursting into laughter in the middle of class. Mrs. Muller shoots me a sharp glance and I shut up before turning to glare at Em murderously. She giggles and finally Mrs. Muller turns.  


“That’s it! Miss Andrews, I will see you after school for detention. And, Mr. Brooks you can join her.” I sputter.  


“I can’t! I’m helping Noah after school!” She looks between the two of us.  


“If I remember correctly Mr. Cooper has practice after school so you would be waiting anyway. Instead of hanging out with Giggles over here until then you can sit in detention and reflect on why you shouldn’t interrupt my class in the future. Now, unless you would like to continue to argue and land yourself in the principal’s office, I suggest you be quiet.” I nod sheepishly and see Noah silently shaking with laughter. He turns to look at me with a slight smile on his face and I feel my cheeks heat up. He turns around and faces forward for the rest of the class. When the bell rings, I can’t get out of there fast enough.


	3. Chapter 2 - Noah's POV

I’m sitting in class totally zoning out. It’s all I can do lately. I’m either staring at Xavier or lost in a daydream with Xavier in it. If my parents knew I’d tell them I thought I was going insane. But I’m not crazy, I know the truth. I’m crushing on Xavier, Hard. Of course, my parents could never know the truth, not after my sister. I start to travel down into the memories when I hear my name. I jerk up and look around when I see Mrs. Muller yelling at Xavier and his friend, the one he was talking to earlier in the hallway. Why is she called Em? I never understood that and I start to board that train of thought when Mrs. Muller stops yelling after mentioning me again. I turn around to see Xavier and smile slightly at him. He smiles back and everything in my head turns to big piles of sappy mush as I find my thoughts filled with Xavier. 

His smile that’s subtle but perfect. Those green/gold eyes I just want to stare into all day long. That black hair that’s always artfully styled. It makes me want to run my hands through it and mess it up just to see his reaction. Those pale pink lips that I want to kiss all day while I cuddle with him, his lanky body pressed up against mine. I mean, that's not true. I'm just friends with him. Friends don't kiss other friends and I totally don't want to kiss him. I'm friends with him and that's it. 

I see a hint of pink dotting his cheeks but force myself to turn back around, face forward, and focus on class, not the way his eyes twinkle when the sun shines down on his face. I resist the urge to bang my head on my desk, I just have to wait until next period, that’s a class I don’t have with him, Home Ec. It’s an easy A to help me stay on the swim team plus I enjoy cooking. Also, because I don’t have the class with Xavier I can actually try to focus. 

It’s about halfway through Home Ec when I feel my phone start buzzing like crazy. I excuse myself to the bathroom to check what’s going on. I see a series of texts from my sister Tori. I quickly text her back saying that I’m in class and she’ll have to wait 20 minutes until the end of the school day. My phone quickly goes quiet and I head back to the classroom to “participate”. 

After class I walk to my locker and grab my stuff before making my way to the parking lot and my car, swim practice was canceled because our coach is out sick. I’m trying to get through the throng of students to my car when I see someone sitting on it. I rush over to my car and shove the person off of it without even looking to see who it is. 

“What do you think you’re doing. This is a classic ford mustang convertible that my dad restored and gave to me!” I hear a laugh and look over at the person who had been mistreating my baby. 

“Still too overprotective of your cars baby bro?” My eyes widen. 

“Tori!” I rush forward and hug her tightly. “No wonder you were blowing up my phone!” She laughs again but I can feel her holding me just as tightly as I’m holding her. 

“So, no boyfriend… I see the car still isn’t helping.” I narrow my eyes as we pull away from each other. 

“I don’t have my car to get guys, I have it because I love it and you can’t change that.” 

“Well if your car is soooo special why don’t you take me for a spin. I only ever saw glimpses of this beauty when he was in the garage working on it. I’ve never actually seen it in action.” She forces a smile but I can see the pain in her eyes when she mentions them. I frown playfully and pretend to think about it. 

“I don’t know… what if I just left you here?” 

“Well that would be cruel and unusual punishment. Plus,” she says as she gets in, “We both know I wasn’t really asking.” I roll my eyes but I drop my bag on her lap and get in before starting the engine. My car comes to life with a gentle purr and I grin before smoothly pulling out of the parking lot, off school grounds and onto the road. 

“Where are you staying?” She names one of the big hotel chains and I start to drive over there. I keep sneaking glances at her until she finally breaks. 

“What Noah?” I pull into a gas station and study her. 

“How long are you staying?” 

“I’m not sure yet.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“I broke up with Lindsay.” 

“I’m sorry, I thought you guys had a good thing going.” 

“We did and then she cheated on me with her boss, some guy named Brad.” 

“That sucks. How are you doing?” 

“I’m fine, It was a couple weeks ago so I’m over it. I just needed to get out of there for a little bit, get some space.” 

“I get that.” I smile at her and she looks at me suspiciously. 

“What are you all smiley about?” 

“It’s just been so long, I missed you so much, I missed talking to you and having you in my life.” She beams and then yells, 

“Aww, you big ol’ sap!” I glare at her. “Alright fine, I missed you too. Now can we go, we’re wasting gas.” I nod, but right before I start to pull out I notice something. 

“Your sunglasses are scratched.” She nods. 

“I know.” I frown, confused. 

“If you know they’re scratched then why do you continue to wear them? You could easily get new ones or even new lenses if you really like the frames.” She smiles softly, it seems as though she was expecting this question. 

“I wear them because I’m not in perfect condition. I have scratches and scars, I’m not perfect and my life has sure as hell left its mark on me. They aren’t in perfect condition either, their use has left its mark on them too. I wear them to give myself a reminder that even if something isn’t perfect, it isn’t useless, that it can still be loved. That just because somebody doesn’t want it doesn’t mean there isn’t another person who will.” I sit there for a moment. 

“Damn.” Only Tori would come up with a reason like that for wearing scratched sunglasses. “That’s deep, almost too deep but you’re on this side of the line so I think you’re fine.” She bursts into laughter and smiles at me again. 

“I think everybody needs a reminder of their self-worth from time to time.” She looks pointedly at me and I look away, suddenly uncomfortable with the turn the conversation is taking. I peel out of the gas station and the next time I stop it’s at Tori’s hotel. I pull up close to the lobby doors. She gets out before grabbing her suitcase. I look at her sadly. 

“I should probably head back home.” 

“Yeah, they’ll be wondering where you are.” She and I both know that ‘they’ are my parents. I still call them Mom and Dad but I completely understand her unwillingness to call them that. If I was in her situation I’d feel the same way. As I pull away from the hotel a thought nags at me. I’m probably going to be in her situation. I gulp and push the thought away. With any luck, my parents will never find out the truth and what happened to my sister won’t happen to me.


	4. Chapter 3 - Xavier's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE BE AWARE  
> THIS CHAPTER HAS MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM AND ABUSE, BOTH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL  
> IF THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WILL AFFECT YOU PERSONALLY IN A NEGATIVE WAY...DON'T READ  
> I WARNED YOU  
> THESE ARE TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> POSSIBLE TRIGGERS AHEAD  
> TURN BACK IF NECESSARY  
> A SUMMARY WILL BE IN THE NOTES BEFORE THE NEXT CHAPTER IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS ONE

I arrive at the library for my daily tutoring session with Noah. I sign myself in and mark the use of one of the private rooms in the back of the building. I walk in, turn the lights on, drop my stuff on the floor, and shut the door. I collapse into one of the chairs, lean my head back, and sigh heavily. It’s been way too long of a day and I just can’t wait to go home. I check my phone and see that it’s 4:30. That means I still have an hour to work on my homework despite getting detention from Mrs. Muller. Technically, our tutoring sessions are supposed to start at 5:15 but Noah’s always late coming from practice because he has to shower and change. I groan but pull my stuff out onto the table, plug my headphones in, pull up my perfect playlist, and get to work. 

After a while I’ve finished all my homework. I check the clock and it’s 6.00 pm. Noah never showed and he’s never been later than 5:30. He’s always dashed in at around 5:27 still dripping wet from his shower and panting after running all the way from the gym building. Only once has he arrived after 5:30 and that was when he ran in at 5:32 and apologized for 5 minutes straight. 

I check my feed and discover that swim practice was canceled today due to the coach not being there. So why the hell isn’t Noah here? He should be here, especially if he didn’t have practice. I frown, gather my stuff and head for the main doors. I can’t help but glance at the sign-in sheet in the hopes that there was a mix-up but Noah still showed. However, one glance at that sheet crushes my hope. The only names listed are for a bunch of other people I vaguely recognize but don’t really know. I feel hurt and betrayed and I don’t quite understand why. It was just a tutoring session, nothing special. He needs it more than I do. So why do I feel so hurt that he isn’t here? 

I walk out to my car and throw my bag in the back before starting the engine. I sit in the parking lot for a second before pulling out, getting on the road, and heading home. 

Once I get home I walk into the kitchen to find my mom furiously scrubbing at a pot. I smile at her as I pass by and ask what’s for dinner. She simply mutters an answer that I can’t understand so I head up to my room to work on my computer until she calls me back down for dinner. I walk up the stairs, drop my backpack on my desk, and face plant onto my bed. I lie there, stretched out and find myself nodding off. 

I wake up to my mom yelling that dinner is ready. I groan and get up before making my way to the kitchen. I grab the plates and walk to set the table. My mom sets down the food and we all sit down before my dad says grace. 

“Dear Christ we thank you for the meal in front of us and for the steps taken to get here. We thank you for our health and well-being and pray for those who aren’t so lucky. We also ask for your help in straightening out those who still believe it’s okay for men to love men. We understand that they need help in sorting out their issues and aks that you provide them that help. Amen.” 

I wince slightly but mumble a slight sound and start to eat. I hate that my parents are like this but I don’t think they’ll ever change. Their hatred is too deep-rooted in their beliefs. I start to answer their questions about my day when I notice my mom’s eyes widen. She nudges Dad and motions in my direction. Shortly after I see his eyes widen as well and his mouth tenses like he’s gritting his teeth. I look between both of them but neither say anything for the rest of dinner. I eat in silence afraid that breaking it will release the chaos that I can feel brewing and that I won’t be able to lock it back up. 

It’s after dinner that everything explodes. I’m clearing the table while my mom scrubs away at the dishes when she grabs my arm. 

“What is this?!” she screeches as she grips my arm so tight I’m sure it’ll leave a bruise. I look down at my arm and wince. I look back up at her and take a shaky breath. 

“One of my friends drew it on me as a joke Mom. A joke! That’s all it is!” She sneers. 

“Good! I don’t want you hanging around that kid anymore if they deface you like this. Some friend!” I look at her sadly but she ignores me. 

“Now, let’s get this horrible mark off you!” She drags my hand under the stream of hot water and starts covering it in soap. She washes the soap away, but the mark remains. 

“Stop Mom! It was done in Sharpie!” I try to pull away. “Just let me take a shower and it’ll go away!” She shakes her head and grabs her sponge before scraping against my arm. I flinch away, “Mom! It hurts! Stop!” The rough side of the sponge is scraping against my skin, leaving red scratches behind. I pull harder against her hold. “I’ll get rid of it. Please... Just stop!” 

She doesn’t listen and keeps scrubbing, even rougher. It feels like my skin is being scraped away, layer by layer. “P-please...stop…” I give up and let her scrub until my arm is red and raw and tears are streaming down my face. She smiles down at her handiwork and looks at me. 

“It was for your own good sweetheart.” Then she turns away without a second glance, clearly dismissing me. I look at her disbelievingly for a second before turning and walking back up to my room. 

I look in the mirror and laugh bitterly at the sight awaiting me. My face is red and tear-stained and my arm is scrubbed raw. I start to cry all over again. Cry because of what I went through. Cry because my parents are shitty at being parents. Cry because despite it all I know they’re right. Cry because I’m worthless. Cry because there’s no point of me even being here. Cry because if I killed myself my parents wouldn’t stop to consider they were at fault for even a second. They would just assume I did something to piss off God. Cry because I want to leave and run but I would only make things worse for myself. Cry because who could ever love me? I’m an abomination like my parents say all homos are. Maybe they’re right. After all, if God could be sadistic enough to give me parents like them why wouldn’t he be sadistic enough to keep people in love from getting married. 

I scratch at the would my mom left, I scratch at it until it bleeds and my nails are covered in the blood. I feel a sick relief at the physical pain because at least I can feel something. I’ve felt so numb lately and I can barely feel anything so to feel something at all is a huge relief. I start to sob and go to the bathroom to bandage my wrist. There’s no way I can go to school like this. People would ask what happened and want to know why my arm’s all covered in blood and scabs. But, they wouldn’t want to know out of concern. They would want to know so they could pass the story around and use the sympathy to garner popularity for themselves. You see, in high school, everyone’s looking out for themselves and will use anything to further themselves, even the pain and suffering of others. 

Before I wrap the bandage around my wrist I look at the spot where the mark had been. I lied to my mom, I drew the mark not one of my friends. I needed hope to help me get through the day and remind me of what was still good in the world and what I had to live for. So, I drew it. A small pride flag on my wrist. I felt proud to wear that flag on my wrist. I felt like I was finally being true to myself, even if in a very small way. I felt happiness and hope for the first time since I realized I was...since the first time I realized I was...gay. Now, my parents had rid me of my tiny source of hope that remained.


	5. Chapter 4 - Noah's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUMMARY OF PREVIOUS CHAPTER IF YOU COULDN'T READ IT DUE TO TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> Xavier waits at the library to meet up with Noah for their tutoring session and realizes after finishing his homework that Noah isn't going to show. He then heads home and falls asleep in his room until dinner. During dinner his dad says grace and it includes several homophobic comments. During dinner, Xavier's parents notice something on his wrist but don't say anything. When Xavier is clearing the table after dinner, he mom grabs his wrist and confronts him about the mark on it, a small pride flag. She attempts to get it off him by scrubbing his arm with the sponge which hurts him and he begs for her to stop. After she's done, and the pride flag is gone Xavier retreats to his room and cries over a multitude of things (trigger warnings) and bandages his arm while thinking about how the pride flag was his last little bit of hope and his parents took that away.

It isn’t until after I get home and start on my homework that I realize I had completely ditched Xavier. I check the time and by the time I would get back to the school my session would be over. I guess I just have to suffer through my homework load on my own. 

As I work through the endless mountain I discover that I’m a lot more focused when I’m by myself. I guess Xavier is pretty distracting. It’s because he’s so pretty. In a totally platonic way. One would think I should get a new tutor that wouldn’t distract me but one would be wrong. Xavier is perfect for me. In a tutor way of course! He is super patient with me, no matter how stupid or repetitive my questions are. I stare at my page before giving up and deciding to text Xavier. 

‘Hey, how’s it going. Sorry I accidentally blew you off this afternoon. My sister arrived unexpectedly and I spent the afternoon with her.’ I stare at my screen and wait for him to respond. 

‘Fine.’ I frown. Clipped, short, and impersonal. That isn’t how he texts, ever. 

‘Is something wrong?’ I see dots pop up then disappear, then pop up again. 

‘No’ I bite my lip 

‘You’re lying’ 

‘Stop asking me questions’ 

‘Not until you answer them properly’ 

‘No’ 

‘What’s wrong’ 

‘You should get a new tutor’ My jaw drops open. What the hell? 

‘You’re definitely wrong but I’ll humor you. Why?’ 

‘Because’ 

‘Because why? 

‘I’m not the kind of person who should tutor you’ 

‘We get along great and you’re good at getting me to work. You are exactly the right person to tutor me’ 

‘Another person could do the exact same things’ 

‘No’ 

‘I’ll quit’ 

‘No you won’t’ 

‘What makes you think that?” 

‘You care about me and my future.’ 

‘That’s the issue’ 

‘Why?’ 

‘I don’t want to care’ I flinch and bite my lip. It takes me longer to respond. 

‘Why?’ 

‘It’s better this way.’ I want to tell him so many different things. I want to say no it’s not. It’s better to feel your emotions then bottle them up so they get the better of you later on. If you don’t care about anything then you’re not really living. But, if I texted him that. He’d accuse me of acting like his shrink, so I can’t. 

‘Then don’t care, but don’t stop tutoring me’ I pause before adding, ‘I need you,’ 

‘Nobody needs me’ I gasp. What is he talking about? I send him message after message trying to get him to respond but nothing works. I sigh and turn back to my work. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. 

Apparently I won’t talk to him tomorrow. He avoids me all day long and whenever I call out he keeps walking. Em keeps nudging him when I try to speak to him but he shakes her off and she gives me a shrug. But, I’m determined and he won’t get rid of me that easily. After my class with him, English, the teacher asks to speak with me. 

“Mr. Brooks says he is no longer a good fit to tutor you.” 

“He’s wrong.” 

“I’ll admit I was surprised, your grades overall have improved greatly and your work on the material is significantly better.” I nod. 

“He makes me want to learn the material and work on it.” 

“You always knew the material, you need motivation, Mr. Cooper.” 

“He’s my motivation.” Mrs. Muller smiles softly. 

“I can tell. I’ll keep you with him and explain why to him. However, if he keeps asking to transfer students I can’t deny him that right.” 

“I understand. Thank you.” She nods before handing me a pass and telling me to get on my way. I walk out of the room grinning. I have a second chance to prove myself to him, and this time I’ll use it properly. 

When the last whistle blows after practice I hit the showers and change as fast I can before running out of the locker room and to the library so I can meet Xavier. I sign in and walk back to the room we usually work in. After a couple minutes that seem like hours, Xavier walks back to where I’m seated. I smile at him but he doesn’t return it. He looks pissed beyond belief. He enters and slams the door. 

“Are you freaking kidding me?” I look up at him, eyes wide. I have never heard him raise his voice, I didn’t think he was even capable of it. “I told you to get a new tutor! I talked to the teacher and she said she’d look into it. Then she tells me you said not to reassign me! You asked me about my thoughts and when I told you, you completely disregarded them. I said that I didn’t want to continue being your tutor, you knew that you understood, but you didn't fucking care!” He looks close to tears now. “I told you my feelings. I explained instead of shutting you out! Well, I guess I learned my lesson about sharing parts of my life. You and my so-called mother helped with that!” I freeze. I had been all prepped and ready to apologize, drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness if that’s what it took. Suddenly, this took prevalence. 

“What do you mean your so-called mother?” Xavier’s eyes widen. “What did your mother do?” He turns and rubs his arm. 

“Nothing.” 

“You’re lying. You wouldn’t have said it if she didn’t do something. What did she do?” 

“N-nothing.” 

“Bullshit! Did she hurt you?” He shakes his head but I can tell he’s lying again. 

“I think it’s best if I leave.” 

“No it isn’t. Don’t leave.” Xavier shakes his head. 

“I’m sorry Noah, I’ll stay as your tutor and I’ll see you tomorrow but I can’t be here right now.” My falls as I watch him pick up his backpack and turn to leave. 

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I kept you here when you didn’t want to. I’m not being a very good friend.” Xavier freezes. 

“Friend?” 

“Well yeah, that is if you still want me as your friend after what I did. I really am sorry. I got so distracted by my own feelings and how lost I would feel without you as my tutor that I panicked and decided to do whatever I could to keep you here for today and I could work from there.” 

“I can’t forgive you. Not yet. You betrayed my trust so I can’t be friends with you yet either.” 

“But someday?” I ask hopefully. 

“Someday.” Then he leaves and I’m sitting in the private room alone. I put my earbuds in but if I had left them out I might have heard Xavier add a comment that he had always wanted us to be more than friends.


End file.
